I was recently teased by some neighbors for walking Maite (the Rottweiler) with my treat pouch front and center. There were some mildly macho statements that their dogs “better just listen” and “behave.” There are plenty of reasons for this thought process/understanding about dogs which I won’t get into here. Suffice it to say, they kind of think I’m weak because they see me “rewarding/bribing” Maite.

I’ve been doing trauma-informed work for nearly two decades. Asking “what has happened to you” (instead of “what’s wrong with you?”) is something like second nature to me. I have annoyed partners, friends and family members for years by coming up with alternate reasons for why people around them have behaved the way they have.

Egg rolls take time, and I haven’t made them in years. As I made them, I thought about how I begged my mother to make them pretty much any time someone said, “What will we have for dinner?” Mostly my mother said, “Not today” which makes perfect sense to my adult self. Today if I am going to make them, I need a nice clear schedule, with nothing else happening afterwards.