Break Time

I can hardly believe the month of March is already over. My plan was to write a new post the week of the 16th, but that was when the shelter in place order for California came down, and it flipped my world, as I’m sure it has for many of you. I laughed out loud at my previous post and my desire to decrease my hours of media. I can see that number increasing already after only 2 weeks of time at home.

I can also see my privilege front and center. I have a car, a bit of savings, and am able to keep working (albeit virtually) with many of my clients. This means not only can I get to more resources, it also means I likely have less stress about the shelter in place. I know that if I wait, or go to another store, I will find toilet paper. It means I can still pay my rent (so far). It means that I have access to all that media I am so proud of not watching.

All that said, I am stressed. I lost a number of paying jobs with all the cancellations of conferences, and even though I have more free time, I find it’s difficult to focus on or complete tasks. I can feel myself on edge, quicker to judge others and even more likely to cry. I feel isolated and uncertain and have had to take a lot of deep breaths.

Your allostatic load (the stress placed on the body from repeated ups and downs) is probably high too, and giving yourself the opportunity to breathe, to stretch, to dance or sing – even for 30 seconds – will help keep your rider on your horse.

No one is better at taking a better than Maite, my Rottie (pictured above). Her message to me and all of you: give yourself lots of breaks. Y’all know I recommend a break every hour of the school day – go ahead and give that break to yourself no matter what you are doing these days. I know just thinking about distance learning is stressful for me.

Let’s do it together! Every hour at 15 minutes past, give yourself a 30 second break, and I’ll do it too. Let me know what are your favorites on Twitter or Instagram. #breaktime

Boy singing with guitar

Black boy shooting a basketball

Black woman drinking water from a glass

30 Second Breaks to Decrease Stress

Sing along with the radio

Drink some water

Act out shooting a basketball or pitching a baseball

Stretch your arms up

Dance break!

You don’t have to dance as well as thedancingteacher@yahoo.com - just have fun with it. Or just watch the video. :)

Watch

Kids in my office are often astounded to hear that I don’t own a TV. They cannot imagine what we do for fun in my house. Parents often also look surprised. I am honest – I tell them I do watch Netflix and also many years of an Italian soap opera (Un Posto al Sole since 2000) – but I can still see that they are imagining that I am some kind of deeply deviant human, someone who is able to decline the screen and have fun in some strange, old fashioned way.

The truth is I love TV just like lots of other people. I missed out on American TV when we lived in Holland, so when I got to the US, I binged. I literally watched TV from the minute I woke up (Electric Company) to the moment I fell asleep (The Honeymooners). I didn’t have any friends at first and the Georgia heat was so oppressive I would come in from school and sit right down and watch hours of sitcoms. My family watched TV during dinner (I Dream of Jeannie, The Carol Burnett Show) then current shows, The Six Million Dollar Man, Eight is Enough, The Incredible Hulk, in the evening. You get the idea.

(TV show images scrolling to the left, Un Posto al Sole, The Electric Company, The Honeymooners, I Dream of Jeannie, The Carol Burnett Show, The Six Million Dollar Man, Eight is Enough, The Incredible Hulk.)

As an adult, I decided against owning a TV. I think it was originally that I just didn’t have time for it, I was busy! But then it became a kind of lifestyle choice. I saw so many people spending so much time sitting and staring, and I didn’t want that. And while I still don’t own a TV, now I have Netflix.

Lost in Space image: Robot with a red glowing oval face “looks” down at a white boy, who looks up at it.

And guess what? I still get sucked in! I watched the new Netflix Lost in Space last year after rave reviews from some friends. I really enjoyed it, so when the same friend let me know season two was out, I was ready to watch. I made it last a few weeks, watching a half episode at a time, but all too quickly, it was over.

Y’all know what happened next, right? Yeah, I found another show, conveniently recommended by Netflix. I found myself working on another part of my book with the show on “in the background,” but I realized after the next, next episode started automatically (great programming, Netflix) that far from being in the background, the show was taking up all of my attention, and I was “stuck” in the same place I had been half an hour before.

I admit that I am sometimes smugly proud of my detachment from my phone, social media and video content. The truth of the matter is that I am just as attached as anyone else. Media companies spend millions trying to get (and hold) our attention. And they are very good at it. I wish I had some easy idea on how to manage this, but the only way I am able to keep my consumption low is by not watching AT ALL. If I don’t watch at all for a while, I can stay away.

Listen

I’m writing a book. Well, I suppose it’s more honest to say I was writing a book. I started at the end of the last school year, and got some good work done, but at a certain point I become convinced I was not going to be able to manage it. In part I wondered if anyone would want to read a book about what we can do about racial trauma in schools. I hear from educators regularly that they appreciate my talk, all except for the part about racism. Sometimes they tell me they don’t see how racism is connected to public education. Sometimes they tell me that while racism might be at work in other places, in their town/city/school, that isn’t the case.

The other part I wonder about is if I’m the right person to write it. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I feel extra-super competent, like I offered someone just the right support or presented difficult material in just the right way…but there are many days when I doubt my abilities.

I wonder if I’m good enough, if I’m skilled enough, if I really know enough to make useful suggestions. I wonder if anyone will read what I write or if they do that it will be helpful to them. All these wonderings become worries, and worries have a way of interrupting the writing. They get so big I cannot think around them.

Over the last few months, I’ve opened up the book document many times, looked over the 15 thousand words I already have and then go completely blank. It’s infuriating and demoralizing. Thinking about it today I was reminded of this poem by Shel Silverstein:

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” Shel Silverstein

I realized that I’ve been listening to my own version of the mustn’ts, don’ts and impossibles, and that I’ve let them get in the way.

I was also reminded recently that writing is a creative act, and is more about getting the words out into the world than convincing anyone to read them. I have written all of my life, and the urge to get the words out used to be much stronger than the mustn’ts. I spent some time remembering why I started this project today, and I am ready to start again.

I’m officially back at it, folx. I’ll keep you updated.

Image shows middle grade child right hand writing with a pencil, other arm folded on the desk